Quality over Quantity
Would you rather have 4 quarters or 100 pennies?
This is a practical AND symbolic question. Practically, I don't know of anyone in their right mind who would actively choose to carry around 100 pennies as opposed to 4 quarters. Not only is it extremely inconvenient, but it physically weighs you down. Also, the time and effort it takes to maintain awareness and connection to THAT many pennies is exhausting. Most likely, you will lose a few in the shuffle of your day by getting in and out of your car, sitting down and getting up from your chair at work, and other normal everyday activities. Odds are, the amount of these 100 pennies will dwindle over time. Imagine standing at the cash register and paying for your something with 100 pennies versus 4 quarters; you get the point.
Let's visit the other option. When you carry 4 quarters, not only are those quarters easier to track, each individual piece of currency has a higher individual value so you are inherently more apt to not lose any. And, since your pockets aren't being over-crowded with coins, you are naturally better able to keep track of them.
Now, think of these examples in terms of your sphere of influence. What is your sphere of influence? When it comes to your personal environment, your "Sphere of Influence" can be defined as "those people around you that A.) you have direct influence on and B.) have direct influence on you." Essentially, these are the people you tend to interact with the most.
Here's the question: Do you want to surround yourself with a lot of people that don't mean that much to you, have very little to offer, and weigh you down mentally, emotionally, and physically; or do you want to surround yourself with a few, high-quality people that contribute to your success and help you to focus on the things that will build you up and help you grow by fostering genuine quality relationships?
The answer seems like a no-brainer, right? Yet, sometimes we find ourselves going through the motions and continuing to allow those toxic people into our lives. These people would weigh us down and drain us of the positive energy that could empower us to thrive! The process of consciously identifying these negative and draining people and purging them from your life is referred to as "qualifying your sphere".
My approach to qualifying my sphere is going by the "Rule of 3's"
Start: Give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume the worst of people and understand that not everyone deserves it, but we should allow that person the chance to show us if the are a quarter or a penny.
1. 3 different times: Sometimes someone is just having a bad day. Give them three opportunities at different meetings or engagements.
2. 3 different contexts: Maybe someone is out of their comfort zone at a party. If you see them for example, at work, at the gym, or at an off-the-clock work function, they may feel more at ease in being genuine with you.
3. 3 different topics: Sometimes when you're talking to someone about a topic that isn't that interesting to them, they will naturally shut down. Offer up some diverse topics or start by asking them about something that you know interests them.
Finish: If a person doesn't successfully pass this screen, don't feel bad about cutting them out of your life. Those people that don't make the cut are detracting from the ones who are contributors to your harmony, balance, and success.
I'd like to know, how do you qualify YOUR sphere? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic and how you go about "qualifying your sphere"! Please like, comment, and share. Thank you for reading and engaging and as always, be hard to kill!